What’s Not OK?

We’ve written a few examples below. Treat them as a guide but remember they’re not exhaustive – if you’ve experienced something different you can still talk to us – we’re here to help.
Any form of verbal and written abuse or threat is not acceptable. Obvious examples are when you are subjected to name calling, put downs and threats. However, there are sometimes less obvious instances – for example, if you are asked unnecessary and intrusive questions about your gender identity, if someone uses ‘humour’ to belittle you, or if you are addressed by someone deliberately using an inappropriate pronoun. Similarly someone ‘outing’ you or disclosing information about your gender identity without your knowledge or permission is transphobic.

Clearly any physical or sexual assault against you is completely wrong. As well as acts of violence or sexual violence, assault can also include inappropriate touching or searching and the removal of your clothing or a wig without your consent. If anything happens that crosses your own personal ‘line’, you can talk to us in confidence.

Indeed, any persistent and unwanted attention regarding your gender identity from others is harassment and you should not have to tolerate it. Again, trust your instincts; if you feel uncomfortable about a situation then something is wrong.

Transphobia isn’t just perpetrated by strangers; if you experience abuse, violence from a partner or ex-partner, family members and others you live with, it is domestic abuse. As well as abuse and violence, domestic abuse manifests itself in several other ways including;

  • Preventing you seeing family members or friends; stopping you from leaving the home or pressurising you into forced relationships/marriage.
    Manipulating and controlling behaviour, including financial control, disclosing information about you without your consent and taking away documents or possessions belonging to you
    An abuser might also use your trans status as an additional abusive tactic.