- This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 days, 7 hours ago by Domestic Abuse Helpline Team.
February 11, 2021 at 11:40 am #490Palm treeParticipant
What kind of abuse is trying to administer secretly a nuumber of valium sleeping tablets (probably prescribed) to a child of 8 years old? Was it a crime? This happened to me many years ago.February 15, 2021 at 11:44 am #506Domestic Abuse Helpline TeamModerator
Hi Palm Tree,
Thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you. It is not OK to give a child drugs that are not prescribed for them. In terms of what abuse is it, it could be named as child abuse. It sounds like this experience is on your mind and perhaps you want to work through this. There are some places which you might find useful NAPAC have a helpline and email service https://napac.org.uk/about/ for adult survivors of childhood abuse. Adult children of dysfunctional families is a peer to peer support programme which follows a 12 step programme model http://www.adultchildrenofalcoholics.co.uk/ They have online meetings and face to face meetings. Sometimes sharing your experiences with others who understand what you have faced can be very helpful.February 15, 2021 at 1:56 pm #507Palm treeParticipant
Thank you. I will check out both those websites. The valium was just the start. It was a means to an end, but I can only rely on the couple of times I woke up during his visits and soreness at other times. It stretched from early childhood to adulthood. He passed away a few years ago, so am I right there can be no legal consequence now please?February 15, 2021 at 2:08 pm #509Domestic Abuse Helpline TeamModerator
Hi Palm Tree,
It sounds like you went through something no child or adult should have to face. If you would like information about the legal consequence of his behaviour you may find it helpful to talk to organisations whose expertises are in sexual abuse and violence. Survivors UK https://www.survivorsuk.org/ support and are knowledgable in men and non binary folks experiences of sexual abuse. Rape Crisis support and are knowledgable in womens’ experiences of sexual abuse and violence. Either may well be more able to advise about the legal consequence of your experience.
Below is a link to how the CPS cateogorise sexual offences. It might be helpful to read, although equally if you prefer talking to someone directly the above to suggestions may work more easily for you. https://www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/sexual-offences
Wishing you all the best with your journey,
The Helpline TeamFebruary 16, 2021 at 9:56 am #510Palm treeParticipant
I got right on to HAPAC and got through on their help line. I got through and they were really helpful and cleared a few confusions for me and told me about the book by entertainer Alan Davies’s story and book. The book arrives tomorrow!
Survivors I know but are really preparation to talk to the police. Not what I am looking for. But thank you very much team for your help 🙂February 19, 2021 at 12:52 pm #511Palm treeParticipant
The author was Alan Davies. SorryFebruary 19, 2021 at 12:53 pm #513Palm treeParticipant
When I came out under stress about AIDS in my first job in London, my history with my father came out too, as it was part of me. Somehow that unintentional disclosure got into circulation and my mother from the north came and removed me from London and thereby took away my independence and forbid me contact with anyone I knew. I was hidden and cut off at their cottage in [detail removed by moderator] till I escaped with my life and fled. Coming out had destroyed my standing with my family and lead to my isolation in a not so gay friendly town. Slowly I rebuilt my life. My one remaining family member continues to try and discredit me to this day.February 24, 2021 at 5:41 pm #529Domestic Abuse Helpline TeamModerator
Hi Palm tree – I’m so pleased you’ve found NAPAC helpful, that’s brilliant to hear. It sounds like you’ve had to survive a lot, and not always had the support and belief of the people closest to you. That takes a lot of strength, and to rebuild your life in the wake of this.
If you did feel it would be helpful to have a listening ear to share more of this with, Survivors UK or Rape Crisis could offer this – neither is a route to informing the police unless that’s something you request. They are both confidential services that will meet you where you are and not pressure you into anything you don’t want. But it’s about what makes most sense for you hear.
Thanks again for sharing,
The helpline team
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